Universal definition for Friend and Enemy

Published on Jul 26, 2020

  • I love coming up with short definitions that attempt to encapsulate a universal human value so that it can be applied through any time or setting while retaining it's meaning. This week I've come up with a definition of a what friend is.
  • "A friend is someone who in the longterm gives you energy. An enemy is one who in the longterm saps it."
  • Notice that it's not just about shortterm. Because in the short run you might get energy from someone inviting you out to drinks. But if you don't build a relationship beyond drinking and they are constantly inviting you out for drinks and it is hurting your health or holding you back in other domains, then under this definition that person is not a friend.
  • Whereas maybe someone has a really complicated inventory and needs your help with moving. And it is a huge headache to maneuver all the odd knickknacks that this person has so that nothing breaks. But in the longrun this person helps you see purpose... makes you feel like you are entering the beginning of a story when you visit them... and then when you leave them it feels like a chapter has ended. Then no matter how much energy is sapped in the short run... they give you the essential life energy and thus they are your friend.
  • If you feel as though nobody gives you energy and everyone seems to sap it, then you have entered the dark stage where you have no friends. But humans are so social that they will label enemies as friends. And in this case you've duped yourself into believing that your ego -- the first and ultimate main enemy -- is your friend.

I got enemies, got a lotta enemies
Got a lotta people tryna drain me of my energy
They tryna take the wave from a n***a
Fuckin' with the kid and pray for your n***a

Drake - Energy