When does the brain decide something is real? I think I read somewhere that the brain can't differ from if you're dreaming or if you're being awake.
As I have written, my grandfather died recently. Tomorrow will be his funeral but today we prayed for him in the church of the cemetery. I wasn't crying before we (my parents and me) entered the church. The whole drive there I thought how long it might take if I remember all prayers.
Then something hit me, I wasn't expecting to see the coffin today. A cold shower ran over my back. It was the same cold shower I had when I was at the church because of my cousins' death years back.
I'm not a really religious person and wouldn't even attend the praying if my dad wouldn't have asked me for it (he rarely asks me for something, so I think it was really hard for him to do so).
It was really strange to sit separated with a two meters distance.
Besides the coffin, there was an image of my grandfather and as soon as my brain realized the situation my shoulders felt heavy and tears started to drop.
As I've written, I didn't have a deep relationship with my grandfather, but just the fact that a person I know isn't there anymore really hurt. I feel my eyes swelling again while writing this.
Not only won't I see my grandfather anymore, but that could also happen to any other person I know. As the priest said, there isn't any warning beforehand and God doesn't give reasons either.
I know I've written some deep though posts recently, and I also apologize for the random put together sentences. But I'm currently just writing down whats comes to mind.
What stays is a proverb that comes to my mind: "Morgen wird die Sonne wider aufgehen" (Tomorrow the sun will rise again). Why shouldn't it?