The best deceptions are the ones that seem to give the other person a choice: Your victims feel they are in control, but are actually puppets. Give people options that come out in favor whichever one they choose. Force them to make choices between the lesser of two evils, both of which serve your purpose. Put them on the horns of a dilemma: They are gored wherever they turn.
Withdrawal and disappearance are classic ways of controlling the options. You give people a sense of how things will fall apart without you, and you offer them a "choice": I stay awasy and you suffer the consequences, or I return under circumstances that I dictate. In this method of controlling people's options, they choose the option that gives you power because the alternative is just too unpleasant. You force their hand, but indirectly: They seem to have a choice