My anxiety is through the roof. Surgery on my right elbow tomorrow. It is more than that. It is everything going on my life at the moment. Too much happening at once, yet so many things I need to do and can’t get done soon enough. Some timelines are beyond my control. Thankfully, I have a great therapist to talk this through with. She is actually the one who suggested I blog about my anxiety today. I am overwhelmed and want to avoid the world. Anyone else’s anxiety manifest in that manner? Avoidance? It’s a horrible habit. I wouldn’t recommend it. Your brain and your body scream for you to do anything but what you need to do. Sleep, knit, watch TV, but don’t do what you need to do. Even if it is something I might enjoy, I still avoid it. Avoidance habit is so debilitating. The more you do it, the worse it gets. The act of succumbing to it reinforces it and makes it worse. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t always react to anxiety this way. Not even under the most extreme pressures. My mind is a mystery, and I’m not always sure why it reacts this way.
Today, I came up with a list of what to do when I want to avoid the world.
- Write. Either private journal or a blog to share my experiences.
- Exercise. If nothing else, take my dog for a walk. Or use the under-the-desk elliptical machine. If I can drag myself out of the house, go to the gym, which I normally love.
- Breathing exercises.
- Be mindful and get out of my head. For five minutes, try to notice things around me and notice all the details of the world around me with my five senses.
- Listen to uplifting music. Helps interrupt the anxiety thinking patterns.
There is also a recognition that I may need to build my exposure therapy plan to help with the avoidance. A process so it doesn’t get this bad, eventually. This means being brutally honest about myself with my fears. That is a scary thing.
How does anxiety manifest for you? How do you cope with your anxiety?