I realised my previous months goals were too many and complex. Even having just a few points for sustain, start and stop didn't help. I struggled to recall what the main focus of the month was about, lest even tracking my efforts and all. Without a central theme, it's hard to put will and discipline behind it. But yet even a central theme is made up of many smaller tasks to be done, so perhaps what was missing was thematically weaving them into a cohesive whole, for the month. And besides, many of the tasks I previously set will be done whether it's part of the monthly goals or not, so that kind of defeats the purpose. I remembered that the whole point of these alliterative monthly goals is to try new things or new approaches to old things, so I'm reminding myself here.
So what gives for Opportune October?
There's been a pattern repeating the past few months in my work, and that's being opportune instead of intentional. Since COVID started, the awesome projects that I had worked on and poured life and soul into, had been completely opportunistic. I didn't plan for them, I didn't set out with an intention to find them, and I certainly didn't expect them. If feels like the more I try to steer things out of pure stubbornness and willpower, the worse I fare. If the past months had been anything to go by, going with the flow of the current instead of against it, seems to be working. It also seems to take away much of the anxiety, because anxiety is after all mostly a result of expectations of the future (while depression is the result of expectations of the past...more about these on another day, perhaps).
So instead of grinding my teeth to HAVE A PLAN laid out and follow it through to the dot (pandemics tend to do that to you in a bid to take back a sense of control over your life), I want to acknowledge this emerging pattern in my work and life, and see how far I can take it. Sure, that's an intention in itself, but semantics aside, it's all about going with the flow, giving in to my curiosity. following my energy, letting luck in. Basically, SURRENDERING. This is especially hard for those people who think their smarts is in their planning and organising (I mean, look at this post and the monthly goals series!). But if I accept COVID to be a great destroyer of old ways of being, then this perhaps can be a ;earning opportunity for something new and fresh to emerge in my life.
So, what's the plan? I already know what I need to do, as reviewed in my Sweet September wrap-up yesterday. The whole point of Opportune October is to adopt a new mindset, a new overall approach to the tasks – to surrender to opportunities and energy that might emerge, whatever it may be.
We'll see if this approach works at the end of the month.